Point of order

For my 40th birthday I did a little riff I called '40 at 40' with photos and bits of wisdom I had picked up along the way.

It was surprisingly well received,what with it being such self-absorbed tomfoolery. 

I also did a dead tree edition, mainly because my employer at the time give me store credit from our printing factory.

Thanks, boss!

Better than a turkey or ham, I guess.

The dead tree version was also surprisingly well received, as it came packaged in a spiffy square envelope with a crisp $20 bill. Did ya miss that? don't panic- I got plenty of the spiffy square envelopes left for you.

my 41st bday was full of turmoil. I was sorting out what I wanted to be when I grew up and had several crazy irons in the fire, and my dream car from high school had just been attacked by a bear. A big, anger bear.

Honestly.

This year has been the best ever, and I laugh. That bear attack was the turning point.

I now laugh out loud at the struggle I had to go through to get to this awesome spot. 'Hill to climb? What hill to climb?'

Laugh out loud!

This year, my lords, I give you 42x42... the punch lines to 42 of my fave jokes.

If they seem too blue for you, well....see #20.

And get your mind out of the gutter.

Call me if you need the first part of these old chestnuts. As if you couldn't rough them out on your own, you old sand bagger.

1. clearly, I can see your nuts.

2. kiss you? I shouldn't even be doing this.

3. everyone knows the stem is best part.

4. no, it is the real robert goulet.

5. got anything to stop this coffin?

6. he smells awful!

7. discernibly turgid.

8. warning- driver eating boudan

9. should I have said Dimaggio?

10.wrecked um? It could have killed him!

11. in little nazis

12. his feet

13. 'do you know how many UGA sophomore fraternity boys headed to a football game it takes to make a pound of brain?'

14. ' You better pet him first!'

15. by the ears.

16. they drove right over me about 10 minutes ago.

17. no, but the light is better over here.

18. wanna buy a toothbrush?

19. look at that 's' car go!

20. 'look doc, you are the one with the dirty pictures!'

21. do I know wendy? nope. this says welcome to Jamaica, have a nice day.

22. in the navy, you must always choose the lesser of two weevils.

23. 'dude, I work in it, I play in it, and if it was air conditioned, I'd live in it'

24.I am just glad I became an eye doctor, unlike my uncle, the proctologist

25- I know it is a male camel, I overheard the water boy say 'look at the schmuck on that camel!'

26.Sir, usually the men just ride the camel to town to visit the local girls.

27. debits on the right, credits on the left--

28. stop scratching you butt or stop biting your nails.

29. you feed the dogs, I will feed the fish.

30. You will get better results if you put the potato in the front of the swimsuit.

31. It's been two weeks, do you think I can take the condom off now?

32. practice, practice, practice

33.one bite at a time

34. the good news- baseball in heaven is awesome! all the stars are here. bad news? you pitch tues in the double header.

35. then satan says--back on your heads- now that you are a client, the pitch meeting is over.

36.do you think we should tip the drummer?

37. the shaking handed rabbi says 'it won't be long now!'

38. rabbit is then picked up by the bear and the bear wipes his butt with him

39. liver alone, she's mine! said the Chihuahua

40. no soap, radio.

41.and that's certainly not my belly button!

42.sam and janet evening!

 sorry about that. not everything can get on a list, and certainly some drivel slipped in. Happy New Year!