I had not intended to end the movie crying like a little girl, so it was with great horror that I greeted the Duchess' footsteps down the stairs. Final stave, ACC, old Scrooge has found it is indeed Christmas morning, and he is alive.....And redeemed..

It was still dark out, my early am companion, mwonderbeagle was firmly ensconced in my humble lap. And Duchess was making her way downstairs, with me crying up a storm.

I cannot explain it, as there is no doubt how the story is gonna end, and it is not as if this one retelling (1999, Patrick Stewart, Hallmark) is really any better than the other 17+ versions I have seen. But there you have it. Full sobs, with copious tears streaming down my face.

Don't judge. Like Popeye says, 'I yam what I yam.'

And I yam a Christmas Carol junkie. How it can make a grown (although clearly a big girl's blouse) man cry is inconceivable.

Sissy.

But this version hit me right between the eyes, and this Fezziwig carried the show.

Yep, this version more than most others, Old Fezziwig, deserves a major toast!
Rotund, jolly, and downright effervescent, he was the kind of boss I would love to be someday. The deftness in which he makes his last entry into his counting house's ledger, slams it shut, and states, 'It's 7pm boys, let's get this Christmas started properly!'

Dear old Fezziwig,with a houseful of daughters, all named after flowers- Daisy, Lilly, and more, and various and assorted hangers on- even in those drab warehouses, it was festive and warm. Dingy, yet festive and warm.

And there you have it. The Fezziwig Factor.

Feet of clay.

I have had bosses in the printing business who were very much NOT 'into' print, as an artform, as a way to engage the end users. Been joined with promotional guys CLEARLY not in love with their products and clients. Worked for several restaurateurs who could not STAND their clientele and would not eat their own dogfood. Yet their one underlying lowest common denominator was their fundamental misunderstanding of what their business was.

They did not really love their clients, and could not express their love with their art. Talk about repression.

 

 

Our business, all of us, is humanity. Marley said it best,'Mankind was our business!' And Old Fezziwig, although master of a drab counting house, clearly has grasped the fact that mankind was his business. The hangers on, the underfed and mistreated houseboy next door, the clerks. He could maintain his dignity in the trappings of the dingy, and his persona was festive and warm.

The Fezziwig Factor.

He had me at huzzah.

So it starts, with our unseen partner, Marley, who was clearly dead, and we officially kick off the Dickens season at 211 Culdass Ct. 3 kids, all preteens and precocious, being worked into a lather about Christmas- by the mass media, not by us. Our stores are now all fully de-Halloweened and Christmas has rolled in. But I gotta keep reminding them (and me) unequivocally, Marley was dead. Compared to the other ghosts, Past, Present, and Future, I like Marley the best.

Do I even need to explain that I am discussing Dicken's classic, Christmas Carol? And what makes a story a classic? CSL said a classic is a story that everyone knows and no one has read. That is Christmas Carol- as there have been more (and soon another one releases) remakes of  this beauty than just about any Christmas story.

But of Marley, that is who I want to haunt today. Lightly haunt, as he really is a tortured soul, looking to help his old partner. His line, 'Mankind was my business!' comes on so jarring to me, and I hope you, too. What business are we really involved in, and why are we so distracted from it? Why does it take 'the chains I forged in life' to get his, and our, attention?

Jan 01, my little hobby/business/passion/calling/ministry is going to try to change the world.

@swagclub is going to work our way into reminding our selves, our clients, and our prospects, that our business really is mankind. One caring, elegant, and insightful transaction at at a time.

Marley did not die in vain, and he has no need to come haunt me here.

He already does.

Huzzah!

This year, as we have done for at least 5-6 years now, we shall take a deep, deep dive- into the ghosts, my fave 3, Christmas past, Christmas present, and Christmas future.
Color me morbid, but as a Christmas Day baby, I think I come by it naturally, not the ghost obsession, as I am not, but a Christmas which I very decidedly do have. I have no doubt that my current position, as cd of swagclub, is directly related to a life long haunting by Christmas. I love giving gifts, small, big, whatever the size, a well timed and well thought out gift is my favorite thing of all. And I really do love to receive gifts, but I love giving them even more. But enough of the gifty stuff, let's consider the haints. Of Christmas- the great, the three, that Mr. Dickens gave us to consider.
As an horrid adult Sunday school teacher, I absolutely love Christmas, as the discussion of the ghosts ties so elegantly into my own ( or even, all of our) faith journey. Grace- forgiveness of the past, finding solace in the present, and most importantly, hope for the future. If that miserly old skinflint can be redeemed by finally accepting Grace, how much further along are the rest of us?

past- let it go

present- be happy with what you have, and what you can give. have no guilt for being skinny this year, and don't measure your happiness by the size of the present stack

future- hope. CSL said, 'there are 2 kinds of people- sinners with hope and sinners without hope'. But hope for what? not 'MOMONEY' (I hope) but hope for a closer walk. Walk with each other, with God.

More to come on this ghostly tale, gentle readers. Those of you that ave suffered through my endless Christmas ramblings, go on and zone out till January. It'll take that long to carve this rich pudding.

Again.

 

In my outbound box for the coming week, among and amidst the dreamy pens and bits and boxes of cool swag- (including one of the dreamiest laser etched pieces ever, and the mother of all business card holders) are a few books that I cannot wait to share, again.

The swagmobile is rapidly becoming the bookmoblie.

Curiously, even though they are different genres, they are all by the same author.

Steven Pressfield wrote the penultimate book on writing and creative 'resistance'.

And breaking through it.

The War of Art, a twist on the classic warfare (and business) book-Sun Tzu's The Art of War.

And I am excited to be giving it to a writer friend who has broken the back of writer's block (I hope!) this week.

A classic!

The Legend of Bagger Vance, also by Pressfield, was a greater book than movie, and it really came down to casting. Don't get me wrong- I loved the movie, and am a huge Will Smith fan, but he did not carry the character of Bagger Vance as someone older, with more gravitas.

Louis Gosset, or even better, Morgan Freeman, would have carried that movie into greatness.

I am sure Morgan Freeman has got to be getting tired of being typecast as a God figure, but he has this aura and poise that carries the role better than anyone I can imagine.

It's kinda funny to plug in other people into the God role and see how it works out; Steven Wright would make a funny and irreverent God, Andrew Dice Clay- not so much.

George Carlin would make a great God figure, he is sort of an uber edgy George Burns.

Anyway, I am excited to share Bagger Vance, in his written form, and this is about the 4th person I have turned onto this awesome read.

The last book-The Virtues of War- is about Alexander the Great and his march to the East, in search of an Empire. As historical fiction, it is a great read and really hits home to the point that the 'conquering' force does not usually (if ever) improve things for the newly 'conqured/liberated/freed' people in their realm.

There is a great exchange between Alexander and a local peasant who has resigned himself to a life of sustenance farming, who turns down the offer of gifts or higher posts, and he says, presciently, 'The neighbors would just steal whatever I had gained, and what they don't steal my wife's family, the local temple, and distant relatives would all grab up anyway.'

In an even more interesting exchange, he encounters a monk who does not show proper obeisance, and when questioned about his lack of servile behavior.

' Don't you realize you are speaking to master of the known world?' he says, 'I have mastered my need to be master of the known world.'

The pause it gives Alexander, fictional or not, still resonates with me, even after 4 readings I still am drawn to that conversation.

Master the need to master the world.

Ouch.

The Virtues of War is really the best of the three books headed out this week, imho.

I am continuing to struggle with my need to master my own need to be 'master of the known world'. But, like the monk passing out wisdom, I will continue to give out books I am moved by, and that is enough mastering for now.

Kamran the Great Book Giver.

Not claiming monk-like wisdom, just kinda giving up on the field-marshaling behavior I have been associated with in the past.

For now.

Carry on.

 

Seems normal enough, right?

 

Here is the kicker- Zombies, Nazi zombies, and plain Nazis have been discussed here quite a bit lately, and the root of the question is 'who is worse?'

 

Been kinda fascinated with the whole subject of man's inhumanity to man, oddly because of a speech I had been noodling with for the past month or so about zombies, of all things.

It was meant to be a humorous speech, and from the audience reaction, I guess it was. But it started deeper discussions around 211 Culdass.

 

Maus-

 

I can't explain my interest in Maus, other than the fact that it really does a great job of humanizing the dehumanizing conditions of Nazi Germany and the concentration camps. And it does it by dehumanizing the humans into mice, cats, and pigs.That juxtaposition really was an elegant way to explain a complicated story. A real story. A story that touches our family, and all of our families, no matter how obliquely, to this day.

A serious story- especially when compared to the creepy or nonsensical zombie stuff going on here.

 

Shawn of the Dead-

 

We watched a great zombie movie the other day- Shawn of the Dead, the boys ran away screaming. Shawn of the Dead is a dark comedy, and is an odd sort of 'boy meets girl, boy looses girl, boy tries to save girl and fam and mates from zombie invasion', with varying degrees of success. Not sure why the boys ran away screaming, but it sure did crowd up our already crowded bed for the next couple of weeks.

 

xbox-

And the Nazi zombies have been making their ghoulish appearance in the xbox way too much these days. We have been rained in for what seems like the past two weeks- no damage to anything but morale, but the boys keep gravitating back to the gray faced soldiers who are really tricky to kill off.

Back to the original question- Zombies, Nazi zombies, and plain Nazis -- 'who is worse?'   

I gotta vote for the plain Nazis and their free will to serve an evil cause. Because, even though resistance may have gotten some killed, lack of resistance got even more killed.

And those whose lack of resistance, whose fear trapped them into servitude, I pray for them. And pray if ever faced with such unpleasantness, I will choose the harder fight. Like the characters in the true story I read this summer- Every Man Dies Alone- about a strange form of German resistance to the Nazis. They chose a fight, and they died in the process.

Speaking of fights....rereading Fight Club.

More to come in the next few weeks as swagclub coalesces into something real.

Authentic.

Passionate.

The feedback has been overwhelming, with the kind of understanding I could never have dreamed of. Most everyone I have explained the concept of swagclub to got it.

 

They got me.

 

They got on board.

Did you?

 

The fight for great swag, and making great connections, is afoot.

'Let's get it on!'

 

 

 And more about Free soon too. You know I love free, and  as the 9th rule of swagclub clearly states......'great advice @swagclub is always free. always.'

 

That said, in the past month or two, I have had several occasions to want to reach a large number of people, stat.

STAT!

Tickets or swag that needed to go out, pizza catchup and other fun events to pimp, and most excitingly of all, further discussions about swagclub.

I wanted to reach more people than I could efficiently see in person, have lunch and a glass of ale, make a coffee and biscotti run, or write a real letter, on nice cardstock and sealed with the wax seal of the Ambassador's office.

Those who know me would know these as my preferred channels, I hope.

In a perfect world, all communications would happen face to face, with a leisurely meal. Lobster thermidor and peeled grapes, with a cold ipa or two.

Such was the 'sense of urgency' of the several news cycles, there wasn't even time for a call on the phone.

Friends, I felt the only way to really spread the word quickly and efficiently was electronically.

First cycle felt like an all email kinda thing, so I contacted a goodly number of mates and asked for a simple response, and the response was overwhelming but confused, as I got 1/2 return emails, 1/4 Facebook messages, 1/8 twitter dms, and 1/8 phone calls. I had asked, ever so gently, for an email back, but I probably asked for email back too gently.

A few middle news cycles were equally disjointed in their feed backs, due mainly to the disparate ways so many of my mates use their dif channels.

The most recent cycle seemed like a Facebook kinda thing, so that's how I spread it. Success in reaching and connecting with all intended was reached, but I made the mistake of asking for a phone response, and that was universally booed.

All responses were fb or face to face.

Counted about a dozen of the face to face.

I like face to face. Felt genuine. Authentic.

Let's do more of that.

And just ordered more of that nice cardstock to be sealed with the wax seal of the Ambassador's office. Working on a swagclub seal, too. So keep  a weathered eye out for a visit.

Or a card.

Or box of swag.

But the fb/twitter/email/blog channel (or crescent wrench, as snarky BOF Spike called it at SMC the other day) will be greased up and ready to serve, as needed.

 

ps- Very few people understand me, and I am sorry about that, I just assume you hear the same voices in my head that I do.

just this week, again I got called out on my constant and annoying use of Popkinspeak- so here are a few definitions, as if you didn't already know.......

swag- stuff we all get

BOF- Brains on Fire- shop of great minds, but some are a bit snarky. I mean that in the best possible way.

snarky- a smarmy, self aware, sarcastic kinda guy. I have been called snarky by ex girlfriends, and not in a nice way. wife and kids, friends, pretty much everyone other than Spike has called me snarky. and he has never called me snarky because he is the king of snarky. and I am Sparticus.

Facebook- jmj, where have you been?  google it.

twitter- a mini facebook.140 characters.chrissakes, google it.

dm-kinda like an email, but mini.

SMC- Social Media Club- chess club for grown ups.

stat- a medical term for in a hurry.

blog- really, you are here, a self aggrandizing positioning statement that looks and reads like 'a dear diary' but ruthlessly edited as we track it vigorously and know that the only people who really read it are our mothers and competitors. clients, friends, and creepy stalkers have better things to do than obsess about our position papers. they see how (badly) we behave and react accordingly.

Ambassador's office- I am quite unfoundedly proud to be an Ambassador for Maker's Mark. it is free, there are no requirements or duties, special rights or privileges. kinda paper tiger, now that I write it down. but they do make an exceedingly nice adult bev.

pizza catchup-  Nicholle of effigy farm's phrase for Pecha Chucha presentation (20 slides, 20 second a piece.) great fun for all.

jmj- Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.

manipulated- my fave shrink, present company excluded, Robert Cialdini, talks quite a bit about influence, manipulation, and leadership. not in a nefarious way, but more in a sales and marketing way. and we are all in sales, marketing, pr, and client services.

Sparticus- led a slave rebellion in ancient Rome. kinda successful, but in praps the greatest moment in history of movie making, when the Romans come looking for Sparticus to arrest and kill him, and ask 'Who is Sparticus?' all men, every last one, shouts out...'I am Sparticus!' after that things take a nasty turn.

swagclub- jmj- are you kidding me? how could you get this far and not get it?

ok, quick swagclub primer- swagclub is my search for kindred spirits.

a shameless ripoff of the genius book (and disturbingly trippy movie) Fight Club. google it.

9 rules of swagclub
#1. You don't talk about swagclub.
#2. You don't talk about swagclub. Unless you need great swag.
#3. The search for great swag is over only when you say 'Wow- that nails it!'  
#4. Only two guys to a fight. Unless we need help, then we bring in the big guns. We know a guy.   
#5. One swag project at a time.
#6. We work with no ties or socks. Even on Sundays-always workin', but never stressin' the work.
#7. The quest for great swag goes on as long as it needs to. Gonna take some questions, as a perfect fit beats fast answers.
#8. First projects are often the start of a great relationship. Or the end of a bad one.
#9. Great advice @swagclub is always free. Always.

 

manifesto- we ask a lot of questions- we are curious and can only serve our clients by asking, not assuming.--
What are we trying to accomplish?
Who are our audiences for this piece? Who do we want to connect with?
How is what we’re trying to accomplish relevant to our audiences?
What do we want our audiences to do? 
What does the project look like? 
How can we make this interesting? (Or why should people care?)
What are the competitors accomplishing that we’re not?
What are past successes; what is currently working?
What is the message of the piece?
What is the tone of the piece?
How will we launch it? What are the communications mechanisms?
What’s our timeframe?
What’s the budget?
How will we measure success? (*The big one. The mother ship question.*)
 
The important thing is to ENGAGE THE CLIENT IN THE PROCESS. They, as you know, have the most insights about what you’re trying to accomplish with any product, good service, or initiative.

 

that is all. carry on.

in doubt? google it!

He got so into it, he actually went into the studio one Christmas day, just to 'work on a few things' and was annoyed that he was alone.

Like I said earlier, nutsy genius.

After his first solo release- the fantastic Nightfly, there was a huge gap till the next (and increasingly genius) Kamakiriad. A surprisingly long gap.

Like 11+ years, which is kinda odd for a man who could knock out an album a year, sometimes a bit more, in his 'hayday'.

Ironically, it was 13+ years til his next album after Kamakiriad wrapped up.

Shockingly long gaps.

Such a long gap that people approached him and said, 'So, where's your next album?'

'So, where's your next album?'

Squak.

'So, where's your next album?'

Squak.

He heard it so often one day he just snapped and yelled and someone 'Where's your next album?!!!?'

A testy and nutsy genius.

I like the nutsy ones, and I often marry them and buy them a house.

I was at lunch with a spiffy girl the other day and we got to discussing blogs.

Shockingly spiffy girl.

Now, I am well over three years into blogging, so I have experienced first hand the waxing and waning of passion to write. Writing is fundamentally sharing something, and a obscure blog like this is very much more of an intimate look into one's soul, compared to a 'mass appeal' blog that is aimed at a wider release.

And writer's block, or 'Resistance' certainly exists.

But as Pressfield said, 'No one ever has writer's block when they are making their grocery list.'

She was slagging one of my mate's blog, one that I read every day.

It was a merciless slagging, especially from one with such spiffy hair. 

I read it every day because they post darn near every day, I comment rarely, quote it often, and find it a great resource of ideas for how to run my swag practice.

Authenticity is woven into their posts, and they are open with their wins and losses.

"They don't update it enough and when they do it is just drivel.' She spat, authoritatively.

Authoritatively!

As if!

She is spiffy as all get out, and I am sure she does not read this claptrap; if she doesn't like theirs, she sure wouldn't like mine.

And I wasn't sure about whether she has her own blog or not, but I kinda doubt it. I did look for one, but I have not found it yet.

But she has great hair and is unusually spiffy.

Not judging- I have lousy hair and a lousy blog, so what of that?

Everyone is a critic, but it takes a bit more effort and intentionality to actually be a 'content producer'. Not that I am, for this is really not great, or even a steady stream, of compelling content.

But to slag someone else's work, when there is no record of you own seems...indelicate.

Spiffy hair and all.

Oh, and...'So, where's your next album?'

Time to listen to some of that infernal 'God talking' stuff.

So.....